Beautiful things - April.

Well, it's definitely getting a bit warmer, isn't it? April was a brilliant month. My Rhinos boys have done well in the league and Challenge Cup, Steve Ganson quit refereeing (thank God), Queen Beatrix abdicated in The Netherlands and Margaret Thatcher finally shuffled off her mortal coil. That, and we're FINALLY getting a bit of sunshine after a stupidly long winter.

Anyway, here's what I got up to in April. Enjoy.

Planning

Every year, my family and I hold a Eurovision party and have a get-together with a few friends. (I didn't do this in 2011 as I was in Düsseldorf but my family still held a party anyway.) This year, it'll be no exception. I have a flag banner, which I'll be putting up, and getting everyone to dress up in fancy costumes, all for the sake of entertainment, and I'll be dressed as a Dutch football supporter, complete with bright orange top. The planning's going well so far and I'm also planning on making buns with the flags of European countries on, plus the usual food from different countries (pizza from Italy, cheeseboards from Scandinavia, garlicky things from France... that sort of thing). I wish I was going to Malmö but I'll still enjoy holding the party and having everyone looking a bit daft. As you do...

Listening

My love for Danish band A Friend In London has been well and truly rekindled and I spent most of April listening to their album and crying that two members of the band have decided to leave for personal reasons. And I've rewatched their performance from Eurovision 2011 over and over again several times. They were absolutely brilliant back then - well, they didn't come fifth for nothing.

Tweeting

Highlights from April included the following:

• My friend singing Denmark's Eurovision entry Only Teardrops and someone thinking she'd been singing about pissflaps. (Don't ask.)
• The same friend finally managing to make me into a Lego figure, complete with red hair and orange outfit. Initially, it was blue and white, as I'm an Evertonian (see the Lego figure at the side of my one), but she changed it to match my Dutch obsession.
• Fernando Torres looking a tit in his stupid Zorro mask.
• France finally legalising gay marriage. About time.
• My Danish friend having an argument with a wall and breaking his wrist. Idiot.
• Danny Cipriani having an argument with a bus whilst on a night out in Leeds and spending the night at the LGI. Muppet.
• Saints getting stuffed by Hull KR. Marvellous.

(Yes, we're still crazy-arse-bonkers, but we don't care.)

PS: My Twitter feed is now unlocked. I always unlock it during Eurovision week but it will be locked again at the end of the month. That is all. (And yes, that is a Eurovision-related background. What of it?)

And finally, my favourite tweets of the moment go to...

Tiger Woods may get disqualified for an illegal drop shot. It is not the first time that he has been in trouble for misplacing his balls.
— Anthony and Owen (@mcneilmortensen) April 13, 2013

RT @deneneogkun: I know Tranmere love being on a budget but having us sponsored by Home Bargains until 2016 is taking the piss a little bit!
— Rachael (@aggerista) April 15, 2013

Text from Prince Charles: "So nice to see a Queen abdicating to give her son a chance". Forget it kiddo. #Beatrix
— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) April 30, 2013

Ciao for now!

Ding dong the witch is dead!

Thatcher's finally copped it! REJOICE!

(Say what you like about her but I personally couldn't stand the woman. She made people's lives hell. Now she can rot there.)

Beautiful things.

Cleverly entitled Beautiful Things and in a move away from the Eurovision side of things, I've decided to make my blog a bit more personal which will hopefully let you see a bit more about my life in general. It really doesn't sound all that interesting but here are some lovely things I've been enjoying recently.

Shopping

I think you'll agree with me when I say that March has been stupidly cold. We got hit by major snowdrifts and couldn't move most of the time but I managed to get out when I could and I know it seems silly buying summery clothes when I can't even wear them yet but I've been dreaming about getting away to sunnier climes and I couldn't help it.

You can find all of the above at H&M. I can't even wear the sunglasses until the summer and I love stupidly oversized t-shirts and jackets so the credit card came out for both of them.

Watching

After the death of much-loved actor Richard Griffiths recently, I have been mostly watching my box-set of Harry Potter again. I have all eight films on DVD and they're always available for me to watch whenever I feel like it. I miss my bad boy Draco Malfoy (I always was a Slytherin girl) but I can always dig them out and watch them over and over again. I can just hear myself shouting at the telly when Neville Longbottom kills that snake at the end but, then, even I know He Who Must Not Be Named was an evil one. I still want to go to the Harry Potter World thing at some point. Being something of a Potterhead, it might be a fun experience and something I'd probably enjoy making a day out of.



Reading

Considering I don't really have time to do much reading these days, I've been loving these two sports-related books recently. I got them both for Christmas last year (thanks mum and dad) and, as I support both Leeds Rhinos and Everton, they're absolutely brilliant and I can't put them down. I'm not letting my brother anywhere near them (I won't see them again) and my sister won't touch either of them anyway (she's a Castleford Tigers and Manchester City supporter), so that's OK. More Keith Senior (he's got no hair and we love him) and Everton for me, then!

Listening

Unless you've been hiding under a rock recently, you'll know that next month sees the return of Europe's favourite TV show, the Eurovision Song Contest. This year, the Netherlands are represented by the lovely Anouk and her Lana Del Rey-inspired song Birds and I really hope they get into the final for the first time since 2003. Then again, if a multi award-winning and well-known Dutch singer can't get into the final for them, who can? (Oh, and good luck to our Bonnie, who is representing the UK.)

Obsessing

Speaking of Eurovision, I've been loving the butterflies (see above) and these little icons made by the wonderful Ben Morris. I'm using his wonderful little Anouk icon on my Twitter, Facebook and Last.fm. They're simply amazing.

Top (L-R): Margaret Berger - Norway, Gianluca Bezzina - Malta, Cascada - Germany, Bonnie Tyler - UK.

Bottom: Takasa/Heilsarmee - Switzerland.

Tweeting

Recent highlights from my Twitter include the retweet from a Prince Charles parody account about Justin Bieber not coming back to the UK ever again, stuff about my various sports teams, a couple of tweets about Greece and Armenia's Eurovision songs being shite and one about (now ex) Newcastle United player Nile Ranger getting arrested for the umpteenth time. Then there was the lame joke about the Grand National I posted the other day. Further proof, if needed, that I'm crazy-arse-bonkers.

And finally, my favourite tweet of the moment goes to...

The Stoke mongs are plummeting rapidly. Long may it continue. A. xx
— Anthony and Owen (@mcneilmortensen) April 6, 2013

BYE-EE!

Eurovision 2013 review - PART TWO.

Part two of my wonderfully-brilliant Eurovision review.

Enjoy.

ISRAEL: Oh, I like this. They haven't made the final for the last two years and Germany still won't get any points from them (as usual) but they should have no problem qualifying with this.

ITALY: OH HELLO MARCO! Italy have gone for the all-Italian option this year, having gone for dual-language for the last two years and, whilst I don't understand a word of Italian, I still think they have another decent song. Not sure if it's good enough to reach the top five this year though.

LATVIA: Oh, Latvia, have you learned NOTHING from Austria last year?! See you in the semis... again!

LITHUANIA: FINALLY! Lithuania have a song that ISN'T as dull as dishwater and Andrius isn't bad looking either!

MALTA: Another one I've liked from the start. There's no foot shuffling this year but the little doctor hasn't let me down yet and I'm sure he'll do well. Will he be good enough to reach the final though? Only time will tell...

MOLDOVA: Moldova have gone for the Romanian option this year. Not sure about the song either. It may grow on me.

MONTENEGRO: Well, at least it's better than last year's effort. That's all I've got on that one.

NORWAY: You can always rely on the Norwegians to deliver a decent song - and this one's no exception. It's very electro and very uptempo and I love it. Hoping it fares a little better than Tooji's effort last year though. He was robbed by some of the more rubbish songs and I felt so sorry for him!

ROMANIA: This one is just plain odd. Sorry Romania!

RUSSIA: Hey, Russia, Hear'Say called. They want their song back.

SAN MARINO: MUCH BETTER! You're forgiven, Valentina!

SERBIA: Congratulations, Serbia, you've clearly sent the sluttiest song of this year's contest.

SLOVENIA: Slovenia have sent a song that ISN'T a ballad?! SHOCK HORROR! That said, it's a decent enough song and it may qualify but it won't win.

SPAIN: Another decent song from the Spaniards. Hope they don't tell them they can't win though. I know they're short of money but that's ridiculous!

SWEDEN: How do you fit the word You into one chorus? Just ask Robin Stjernberg! Another uptempo song from this year's host country and another one I LOVE! He was the first ever winner of Melodifestivalen's Andra Chansen too so I hope that's not a bad thing! Good luck Sweden!

SWITZERLAND: The bloody Salvation Army get everywhere - and now they've invaded Eurovision! Thankfully, they've had to change their name (they're now known as Takasa) and the song actually isn't too bad so I can forgive them!

UKRAINE: This song is a little better than last year's effort but not much. It may still qualify though.

UNITED KINGDOM: And finally, my country. At least Bonnie Tyler can still sing in tune so we may have a chance this year. Can we at least finish on the left-hand side of the board again please?

AND THAT'S THE WRAP! I'm counting on Europe to leave the shit out of the final (I'm looking at you, Greece) and give my Dutchies a chance! May the best song/artist win!

Eurovision 2013 review - PART ONE.

So, having listened to all of this year's Eurovision entries in full, I can now bring you my review of the songs. Most are good but some are rather naff - and there's no evil Irish twinniness this year.

Enjoy.

ALBANIA: This supposed 'rock song' is crap. Still, at least there's no warbling or chucking cats down a well, so that's a bonus I suppose.

ARMENIA: Armenia weren't in last year's contest due to it being in Azerbaijan, who they've been at war with for centuries, but with this song it seems like there was no point in them coming back this year. The song is a wee bit naff for my liking. Sorry Armenia!

AUSTRIA: Much better, Austria! Last year's song was rubbish but this one is much better and I love it! I still don't think Vienna will be hosting next year's contest, though.

AZERBAIJAN: OH HELLO FARID! Nice song and nice on the eye as well! OOF!

BELARUS: Another year, another change of song. I liked Rhythm Of Love but I'm still middle-of-the-road on Saloyah. Not sure if I like it or hate it. It might still grow on me before May, however...

BELGIUM: Whilst Roberto is nice on the eye, this song is a bit bland and it'll probably go nowhere in the semis. Sorry Belgium!

BULGARIA: Another country who changed their song. It's also a bit rubbish. See you in the semis.

CROATIA: Did someone lose the memo that classical crossover doesn't usually work at Eurovision? Slovenia tried it in 2007 and flopped. Sweden tried it in 2009 and flopped. France tried it in 2011 and guess what? They flopped. Good luck, Croatia. You're going to need it.

CYPRUS: Nice song but I still preferred last year's La La Love. Cyprus might struggle to qualify with this but we'll see.

DENMARK: This year's favourites, which isn't a bad thing because I love the song. It sounds very Gaelic with the tin whistle thing and Danish royal Emmelie may actually have a chance this year. Last time Sweden held Eurovision, Denmark won it, so maybe they'll win it again? Who knows? Copenhagen/Aarhus/Aalborg 2014, anyone? (What? Loreen was runaway favourite last year so it could happen!)

ESTONIA: Not as dull and boring as last year's song but it's still not far off. It won't sink like their ferry though so I can cope with this one.

FINLAND: Ooh, very uptempo! Love it!

FRANCE: I think I preferred last year's song with the fit French dancers and, yet again, we're not going to see Eurovision held in Paris any time soon.

FYR MACEDONIA: I liked Imperija before they went and changed it. Now, I'm not so keen. See you in the semis.

GERMANY: Cascada have always been a favourite of mine so when I found out they were representing Germany this year, I squealed! The song may sound a bit like Euphoria in places but I still love it and it may end up being a two-way battle between Germany and Denmark this year. Will it be in Copenhagen or Berlin/Düsseldorf next year? Only time will tell...

GEORGIA: FINALLY! Georgia actually have a song worth listening to that's not a tuneless shout-a-thon or crap rap! Love it!

GREECE: This is the worst song of the lot this year and the Greeks have definitely been buying songs from the Germans on a very low budget again. Have they deliberately sent a shit song in the hope they don't win? See you in the semis, Greece.

HOLLAND/THE NETHERLANDS: If popular singer Anouk doesn't make it into the final for the Dutchies, they're definitely doing something wrong! Her song Birds may sound a bit like a Lana Del Rey throwback but I still love it and I REALLY hope it qualifies otherwise I will give up all hope of my lovely Netherlands ever making it back into the final.

HUNGARY: ByeAlex? Yes, bye Alex. See you in the semis.

ICELAND: This is the first time we'll hear Icelandic sung at Eurovision since about 1997 but I'm still not overly convinced. It sounds like a lullaby but at least it's better than about 90% of the songs in this year's contest so I'll forgive them.

IRELAND: NO JEDWARD! HALLELUJAH! Ireland have a much better song but Ryan, who is actually from Northern Ireland, just needs to work on his live vocals if they want a chance of reaching the final again this year.

Part two coming right up...

FAO 'The Devotees of Azerbaijan':

I know you're mostly anti-gay but is there really any excuse to wipe an entire website after they've put in twelve years of hard work?!

Quite frankly, I'm disgusted. Baku has done well in sorting Eurovision out and, from what I'm reading, it's been friendly... and this is how you repay us, the fans of Europe's best TV show?! It's just not fair and I really hope the websites that have been hacked are back up and running soon, especially esctoday.com. They're my number one source of Eurovision news and, by hacking and wiping their entire site, you've managed to ruin all their hard work after doing this and it's just not fair!

I hope you're proud of yourselves!

Eurovision 2012 review #2

Part two of my fantabulous Eurovision 2012 song review is here. Enjoy.

ITALY: Another decent dual-language song from the Italians and I'm sure they'll do well again this year.

LATVIA: This one focuses on Eurovision too much for my liking. Johnny Logan and Riga Airport get a mention too (the latter features in the video). Hmm...

LITHUANIA: This one is dull as hell! Sorry Lithuania!

MALTA: Nice to see Malta embracing their Eurovision roots again. Catchy song though I'm still not entirely sure why Mr. Calleja filmed part of the video in a hospital car park. How classy!

MOLDOVA: MUCH BETTER! My ears are still ringing from the shoutfest you gave us last year!

MONTENEGRO: WHAT... THE... FUCK...?! This is horrendous! Please leave us alone, Montenegro, and don't come back to Eurovision again! URGH! Where are Poland when you need them?!

NORWAY: Ooh, Eric Saade's back, this time in Norwegian form. I actually love the song too and I hope it qualifies. Can we leave the crap tuneless songs out of the final this time please? Thanks in advance.

PORTUGAL: FINALLY! A decent Portuguese Eurovision entry that doesn't involve their very own X Factor/Portugal's Got (No) Talent rejects! Sadly for Portugal, I guarantee that Eurovision won't be held in Lisbon any time soon...

ROMANIA: It's so nice to hear about four different languages in this song and it has a Latino feel to it as well. Guaranteed qualifier.

RUSSIA: I see the Russians have gone for the Grab-A-Granny option! This will probably qualify anyway... it IS Mother Russia, after all!

SAN MARINO: What in HELL is THIS?! Who, in the San Marino press office, said 'oh, I know, let's send a song about a social network' before having the song disqualified and just rewrote the lyrics instead of just sending another, much better song?! RIDICULOUS! See you in the semis!

SERBIA: I actually like this one and Serbia haven't let me down. Potential qualifier but I don't think it'll win overall though.

SLOVAKIA: Were Lordi unavailable? Still, at least metal/rock is back at Eurovision, so it's not all bad!

SLOVENIA: Another slowie (of sorts) from Slovenia but, as the song isn't that bad, I can forgive them for that.

SPAIN: FINALLY! Spain actually LISTEN to me for once and send a nice ballad (of sorts) to Baku - and it was my favourite from their national final! BRILLIANT! *books ticket to Madrid*

SWEDEN: OK, let's be honest here, Eurovision's going to Stockholm next year, isn't it?! This was one of my favourites from the start (apart from The Netherlands, of course) and I LOVE IT!

SWITZERLAND: I can't help but think this is a bit bland and the singers have the most appalling pronunciation of English I've ever heard, which bothers me somewhat. No final for them this year. Sorry.

TURKEY: I don't hate this song but I don't instantly like it either. It's still growing on me.

UKRAINE: Er no, Ukraine, I won't be your guest and I think you'd be better off sticking to the European Championships this year with Poland - that's about all you'll be good at!

UNITED KINGDOM: Surely Engelbert's a bit past his sell-by date?! Still, if he does better than the cocky Irish pillocks, I'll forgive whichever idiot decided to send him in the first place!

And that concludes it! But who will win? Find out on May 26th! Don't let me down, Europe, I'm counting on you sending The Netherlands into the final!