Monday 1 April 2013

Eurovision 2013 review - PART ONE.

So, having listened to all of this year's Eurovision entries in full, I can now bring you my review of the songs. Most are good but some are rather naff - and there's no evil Irish twinniness this year.

Enjoy.

ALBANIA: This supposed 'rock song' is crap. Still, at least there's no warbling or chucking cats down a well, so that's a bonus I suppose.
ARMENIA: Armenia weren't in last year's contest due to it being in Azerbaijan, who they've been at war with for centuries, but with this song it seems like there was no point in them coming back this year. The song is a wee bit naff for my liking. Sorry Armenia!
AUSTRIA: Much better, Austria! Last year's song was rubbish but this one is much better and I love it! I still don't think Vienna will be hosting next year's contest, though.
AZERBAIJAN: OH HELLO FARID! Nice song and nice on the eye as well! OOF!
BELARUS: Another year, another change of song. I liked Rhythm Of Love but I'm still middle-of-the-road on Saloyah. Not sure if I like it or hate it. It might still grow on me before May, however...
BELGIUM: Whilst Roberto is nice on the eye, this song is a bit bland and it'll probably go nowhere in the semis. Sorry Belgium!
BULGARIA: Another country who changed their song. It's also a bit rubbish. See you in the semis.
CROATIA: Did someone lose the memo that classical crossover doesn't usually work at Eurovision? Slovenia tried it in 2007 and flopped. Sweden tried it in 2009 and flopped. France tried it in 2011 and guess what? They flopped. Good luck, Croatia. You're going to need it.
CYPRUS: Nice song but I still preferred last year's La La Love. Cyprus might struggle to qualify with this but we'll see.
DENMARK: This year's favourites, which isn't a bad thing because I love the song. It sounds very Gaelic with the tin whistle thing and Danish royal Emmelie may actually have a chance this year. Last time Sweden held Eurovision, Denmark won it, so maybe they'll win it again? Who knows? Copenhagen/Aarhus/Aalborg 2014, anyone? (What? Loreen was runaway favourite last year so it could happen!)
ESTONIA: Not as dull and boring as last year's song but it's still not far off. It won't sink like their ferry though so I can cope with this one.
FINLAND: Ooh, very uptempo! Love it!
FRANCE: I think I preferred last year's song with the fit French dancers and, yet again, we're not going to see Eurovision held in Paris any time soon.
FYR MACEDONIA: I liked Imperija before they went and changed it. Now, I'm not so keen. See you in the semis.
GERMANY: Cascada have always been a favourite of mine so when I found out they were representing Germany this year, I squealed! The song may sound a bit like Euphoria in places but I still love it and it may end up being a two-way battle between Germany and Denmark this year. Will it be in Copenhagen or Berlin/Düsseldorf next year? Only time will tell...
GEORGIA: FINALLY! Georgia actually have a song worth listening to that's not a tuneless shout-a-thon or crap rap! Love it!
GREECE: This is the worst song of the lot this year and the Greeks have definitely been buying songs from the Germans on a very low budget again. Have they deliberately sent a shit song in the hope they don't win? See you in the semis, Greece.
HOLLAND/THE NETHERLANDS: If popular singer Anouk doesn't make it into the final for the Dutchies, they're definitely doing something wrong! Her song Birds may sound a bit like a Lana Del Rey throwback but I still love it and I REALLY hope it qualifies otherwise I will give up all hope of my lovely Netherlands ever making it back into the final.
HUNGARY: ByeAlex? Yes, bye Alex. See you in the semis.
ICELAND: This is the first time we'll hear Icelandic sung at Eurovision since about 1997 but I'm still not overly convinced. It sounds like a lullaby but at least it's better than about 90% of the songs in this year's contest so I'll forgive them.
IRELAND: NO JEDWARD! HALLELUJAH! Ireland have a much better song but Ryan, who is actually from Northern Ireland, just needs to work on his live vocals if they want a chance of reaching the final again this year.

Part two coming right up...

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