Part two of my wonderfully-brilliant Eurovision review.
Enjoy.
ISRAEL: Oh, I like this. They haven't made the final for the last two years and Germany still won't get any points from them (as usual) but they should have no problem qualifying with this.
ITALY: OH HELLO MARCO! Italy have gone for the all-Italian option this year, having gone for dual-language for the last two years and, whilst I don't understand a word of Italian, I still think they have another decent song. Not sure if it's good enough to reach the top five this year though.
LATVIA: Oh, Latvia, have you learned NOTHING from Austria last year?! See you in the semis... again!
LITHUANIA: FINALLY! Lithuania have a song that ISN'T as dull as dishwater and Andrius isn't bad looking either!
MALTA: Another one I've liked from the start. There's no foot shuffling this year but the little doctor hasn't let me down yet and I'm sure he'll do well. Will he be good enough to reach the final though? Only time will tell...
MOLDOVA: Moldova have gone for the Romanian option this year. Not sure about the song either. It may grow on me.
MONTENEGRO: Well, at least it's better than last year's effort. That's all I've got on that one.
NORWAY: You can always rely on the Norwegians to deliver a decent song - and this one's no exception. It's very electro and very uptempo and I love it. Hoping it fares a little better than Tooji's effort last year though. He was robbed by some of the more rubbish songs and I felt so sorry for him!
ROMANIA: This one is just plain odd. Sorry Romania!
RUSSIA: Hey, Russia, Hear'Say called. They want their song back.
SAN MARINO: MUCH BETTER! You're forgiven, Valentina!
SERBIA: Congratulations, Serbia, you've clearly sent the sluttiest song of this year's contest.
SLOVENIA: Slovenia have sent a song that ISN'T a ballad?! SHOCK HORROR! That said, it's a decent enough song and it may qualify but it won't win.
SPAIN: Another decent song from the Spaniards. Hope they don't tell them they can't win though. I know they're short of money but that's ridiculous!
SWEDEN: How do you fit the word You into one chorus? Just ask Robin Stjernberg! Another uptempo song from this year's host country and another one I LOVE! He was the first ever winner of Melodifestivalen's Andra Chansen too so I hope that's not a bad thing! Good luck Sweden!
SWITZERLAND: The bloody Salvation Army get everywhere - and now they've invaded Eurovision! Thankfully, they've had to change their name (they're now known as Takasa) and the song actually isn't too bad so I can forgive them!
UKRAINE: This song is a little better than last year's effort but not much. It may still qualify though.
UNITED KINGDOM: And finally, my country. At least Bonnie Tyler can still sing in tune so we may have a chance this year. Can we at least finish on the left-hand side of the board again please?
AND THAT'S THE WRAP! I'm counting on Europe to leave the shit out of the final (I'm looking at you, Greece) and give my Dutchies a chance! May the best song/artist win!
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