Time to follow her tomorrow.

The second semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest took place last night and a number of horrors went through to tomorrow night's final. I wanted San Marino and Switzerland to join Norway and Malta but, instead, we got tuneless shouty shit from Greece and a couple of dirges from Armenia and Iceland.

URGH!

And we now have the running order for the final. France open the show, Spain go 5th, Malta go 9th, Germany go 11th, The Netherlands get the unlucky 13th position, the UK go 15th after the weird Romanian entry, Sweden go 16th, bookies and fans' favourite Denmark go 18th, Italy go 23rd, Norway go 24th and Ireland close the show.

Let's hope for a decent position for all of them and leave the tuneless dirges right at the bottom. We can all dream... right?!

Back where they belong!

I am literally still jumping for joy after last night! THE NETHERLANDS ARE BACK IN THE FINAL WHERE THEY BELONG! It's only nine years too bloody late!

Not one single tuneless shoutathon went through to the final last night but there's still Thursday night to go. Hopefully Anouk will shine in the final but she does have to sing in the first half so I'm hoping for a decent result. Other songs that I thoroughly enjoyed last night were the ones from Denmark and Ireland, both of whom are also in the final. They're both in the second half, though.

(Still no idea how Belgium got through. Roberto was off-key during his performance. My guess is all the Belgian votes went to The Netherlands... and vice versa. And Russia's song is still boring.)

Hopefully we'll see Norway and Malta joining them on Thursday. If it doesn't go to Amsterdam next year, can it go to Valletta instead? I'd like to see Malta win it one day. They've come close about four times but never won it.

Veel geluk, Anouk!

Thanks for the memories.

I'm truly gutted and feel like crying right now. David Moyes is leaving Everton at the end of the season, presumably to become the new manager of Manchester United, so we'll be on the hunt for a new manager. It's been a brilliant eleven years and it's now the end of an era.

So long, you ginger legend, and thanks for the memories. We'll miss you. 

PS: I just hope the likes of Mark Hughes and Neil Lennon don't come to Goodison Park. I can't stand either of them.

Beautiful things - April.

Well, it's definitely getting a bit warmer, isn't it? April was a brilliant month. My Rhinos boys have done well in the league and Challenge Cup, Steve Ganson quit refereeing (thank God), Queen Beatrix abdicated in The Netherlands and Margaret Thatcher finally shuffled off her mortal coil. That, and we're FINALLY getting a bit of sunshine after a stupidly long winter.

Anyway, here's what I got up to in April. Enjoy.

Planning

Every year, my family and I hold a Eurovision party and have a get-together with a few friends. (I didn't do this in 2011 as I was in Düsseldorf but my family still held a party anyway.) This year, it'll be no exception. I have a flag banner, which I'll be putting up, and getting everyone to dress up in fancy costumes, all for the sake of entertainment, and I'll be dressed as a Dutch football supporter, complete with bright orange top. The planning's going well so far and I'm also planning on making buns with the flags of European countries on, plus the usual food from different countries (pizza from Italy, cheeseboards from Scandinavia, garlicky things from France... that sort of thing). I wish I was going to Malmö but I'll still enjoy holding the party and having everyone looking a bit daft. As you do...

Listening

My love for Danish band A Friend In London has been well and truly rekindled and I spent most of April listening to their album and crying that two members of the band have decided to leave for personal reasons. And I've rewatched their performance from Eurovision 2011 over and over again several times. They were absolutely brilliant back then - well, they didn't come fifth for nothing.

Tweeting

Highlights from April included the following:

• My friend singing Denmark's Eurovision entry Only Teardrops and someone thinking she'd been singing about pissflaps. (Don't ask.)
• The same friend finally managing to make me into a Lego figure, complete with red hair and orange outfit. Initially, it was blue and white, as I'm an Evertonian (see the Lego figure at the side of my one), but she changed it to match my Dutch obsession.
• Fernando Torres looking a tit in his stupid Zorro mask.
• France finally legalising gay marriage. About time.
• My Danish friend having an argument with a wall and breaking his wrist. Idiot.
• Danny Cipriani having an argument with a bus whilst on a night out in Leeds and spending the night at the LGI. Muppet.
• Saints getting stuffed by Hull KR. Marvellous.

(Yes, we're still crazy-arse-bonkers, but we don't care.)

PS: My Twitter feed is now unlocked. I always unlock it during Eurovision week but it will be locked again at the end of the month. That is all. (And yes, that is a Eurovision-related background. What of it?)

And finally, my favourite tweets of the moment go to...

Tiger Woods may get disqualified for an illegal drop shot. It is not the first time that he has been in trouble for misplacing his balls.
— Anthony and Owen (@mcneilmortensen) April 13, 2013

RT @deneneogkun: I know Tranmere love being on a budget but having us sponsored by Home Bargains until 2016 is taking the piss a little bit!
— Rachael (@aggerista) April 15, 2013

Text from Prince Charles: "So nice to see a Queen abdicating to give her son a chance". Forget it kiddo. #Beatrix
— Elizabeth Windsor (@Queen_UK) April 30, 2013

Ciao for now!

Ding dong the witch is dead!

Thatcher's finally copped it! REJOICE!

(Say what you like about her but I personally couldn't stand the woman. She made people's lives hell. Now she can rot there.)

Beautiful things.

Cleverly entitled Beautiful Things and in a move away from the Eurovision side of things, I've decided to make my blog a bit more personal which will hopefully let you see a bit more about my life in general. It really doesn't sound all that interesting but here are some lovely things I've been enjoying recently.

Shopping

I think you'll agree with me when I say that March has been stupidly cold. We got hit by major snowdrifts and couldn't move most of the time but I managed to get out when I could and I know it seems silly buying summery clothes when I can't even wear them yet but I've been dreaming about getting away to sunnier climes and I couldn't help it.

You can find all of the above at H&M. I can't even wear the sunglasses until the summer and I love stupidly oversized t-shirts and jackets so the credit card came out for both of them.

Watching

After the death of much-loved actor Richard Griffiths recently, I have been mostly watching my box-set of Harry Potter again. I have all eight films on DVD and they're always available for me to watch whenever I feel like it. I miss my bad boy Draco Malfoy (I always was a Slytherin girl) but I can always dig them out and watch them over and over again. I can just hear myself shouting at the telly when Neville Longbottom kills that snake at the end but, then, even I know He Who Must Not Be Named was an evil one. I still want to go to the Harry Potter World thing at some point. Being something of a Potterhead, it might be a fun experience and something I'd probably enjoy making a day out of.



Reading

Considering I don't really have time to do much reading these days, I've been loving these two sports-related books recently. I got them both for Christmas last year (thanks mum and dad) and, as I support both Leeds Rhinos and Everton, they're absolutely brilliant and I can't put them down. I'm not letting my brother anywhere near them (I won't see them again) and my sister won't touch either of them anyway (she's a Castleford Tigers and Manchester City supporter), so that's OK. More Keith Senior (he's got no hair and we love him) and Everton for me, then!

Listening

Unless you've been hiding under a rock recently, you'll know that next month sees the return of Europe's favourite TV show, the Eurovision Song Contest. This year, the Netherlands are represented by the lovely Anouk and her Lana Del Rey-inspired song Birds and I really hope they get into the final for the first time since 2003. Then again, if a multi award-winning and well-known Dutch singer can't get into the final for them, who can? (Oh, and good luck to our Bonnie, who is representing the UK.)

Obsessing

Speaking of Eurovision, I've been loving the butterflies (see above) and these little icons made by the wonderful Ben Morris. I'm using his wonderful little Anouk icon on my Twitter, Facebook and Last.fm. They're simply amazing.

Top (L-R): Margaret Berger - Norway, Gianluca Bezzina - Malta, Cascada - Germany, Bonnie Tyler - UK.

Bottom: Takasa/Heilsarmee - Switzerland.

Tweeting

Recent highlights from my Twitter include the retweet from a Prince Charles parody account about Justin Bieber not coming back to the UK ever again, stuff about my various sports teams, a couple of tweets about Greece and Armenia's Eurovision songs being shite and one about (now ex) Newcastle United player Nile Ranger getting arrested for the umpteenth time. Then there was the lame joke about the Grand National I posted the other day. Further proof, if needed, that I'm crazy-arse-bonkers.

And finally, my favourite tweet of the moment goes to...

The Stoke mongs are plummeting rapidly. Long may it continue. A. xx
— Anthony and Owen (@mcneilmortensen) April 6, 2013

BYE-EE!

Eurovision 2013 review - PART TWO.

Part two of my wonderfully-brilliant Eurovision review.

Enjoy.

ISRAEL: Oh, I like this. They haven't made the final for the last two years and Germany still won't get any points from them (as usual) but they should have no problem qualifying with this.

ITALY: OH HELLO MARCO! Italy have gone for the all-Italian option this year, having gone for dual-language for the last two years and, whilst I don't understand a word of Italian, I still think they have another decent song. Not sure if it's good enough to reach the top five this year though.

LATVIA: Oh, Latvia, have you learned NOTHING from Austria last year?! See you in the semis... again!

LITHUANIA: FINALLY! Lithuania have a song that ISN'T as dull as dishwater and Andrius isn't bad looking either!

MALTA: Another one I've liked from the start. There's no foot shuffling this year but the little doctor hasn't let me down yet and I'm sure he'll do well. Will he be good enough to reach the final though? Only time will tell...

MOLDOVA: Moldova have gone for the Romanian option this year. Not sure about the song either. It may grow on me.

MONTENEGRO: Well, at least it's better than last year's effort. That's all I've got on that one.

NORWAY: You can always rely on the Norwegians to deliver a decent song - and this one's no exception. It's very electro and very uptempo and I love it. Hoping it fares a little better than Tooji's effort last year though. He was robbed by some of the more rubbish songs and I felt so sorry for him!

ROMANIA: This one is just plain odd. Sorry Romania!

RUSSIA: Hey, Russia, Hear'Say called. They want their song back.

SAN MARINO: MUCH BETTER! You're forgiven, Valentina!

SERBIA: Congratulations, Serbia, you've clearly sent the sluttiest song of this year's contest.

SLOVENIA: Slovenia have sent a song that ISN'T a ballad?! SHOCK HORROR! That said, it's a decent enough song and it may qualify but it won't win.

SPAIN: Another decent song from the Spaniards. Hope they don't tell them they can't win though. I know they're short of money but that's ridiculous!

SWEDEN: How do you fit the word You into one chorus? Just ask Robin Stjernberg! Another uptempo song from this year's host country and another one I LOVE! He was the first ever winner of Melodifestivalen's Andra Chansen too so I hope that's not a bad thing! Good luck Sweden!

SWITZERLAND: The bloody Salvation Army get everywhere - and now they've invaded Eurovision! Thankfully, they've had to change their name (they're now known as Takasa) and the song actually isn't too bad so I can forgive them!

UKRAINE: This song is a little better than last year's effort but not much. It may still qualify though.

UNITED KINGDOM: And finally, my country. At least Bonnie Tyler can still sing in tune so we may have a chance this year. Can we at least finish on the left-hand side of the board again please?

AND THAT'S THE WRAP! I'm counting on Europe to leave the shit out of the final (I'm looking at you, Greece) and give my Dutchies a chance! May the best song/artist win!